Choice, Chance, and Signs of Gratitude

By Liah Howard     

"Start each day with a grateful heart" is printed on a wooden sign that was given to me by a friend. I have that inspiring message hanging on the wall opposite my bed. I am reminded first thing in the morning to be grateful. Such a simple instruction yet sometimes, very hard to do. My mind is quick to fill with duties of the day and sometimes a reluctance to leave the warmth of my cozy bed. Yet, if I can shift my attention from activity and instead tap into an inner gratitude for the mere fact that I am alive, then each breath becomes a sacred gift. Earlier this year, I had a close brush with death and can say first hand that I no longer take for granted the blessing of being alive.

Perhaps the universe needed to startle me back into an attitude of gratitude. The time was 7:15 pm on Sept 23rd when death brushed by me. I was walking across the road with friends in a crosswalk by the beach after a birthday celebration for my friend Shaun. I was the last one in the group when I suddenly heard a shout from across the street. "Liah! Look out!" Then suddenly as if instinctually, my friend Patricia who was walking in front of me, grabbed my arm and pulled me forward out of the path of a speeding red car. I was wearing a black dress on that dark night and the driver did not see me at all. The car hit the back of my dress and left an indelible memory in my mind of the shiny red hood that almost robbed me of my life.

The driver was shaken up and pulled over on the side of the road, apparently, he heard the shouts of my friends as they screamed when he passed. I was hyperventilating and my body shook from the intensity of the situation. I couldn't speak or process. I was overwhelmed with shock and fear. I couldn't believe the magnitude of what had just happened. Had my friend Shaun not called out, and Patricia not grabbed me, I would have been hit by that car and gone hurling through space and my body would have then been on the way to the hospital or dead on impact.

I share this because too often we forget that the little things that are bothering us can take away our serenity and leave us feeling empty, frustrated and meaningless rather than grateful, alive and purposeful. If that had been my last day of life would I have felt complete and at peace with everyone and everything in my life? I questioned, did I leave things undone, unfinished or not manifested? Did I settle for less than I was meant to be, do or have? Was I kind and compassionate with others or was I self-centered and ego driven?

I feel like I have been given another opportunity at life. I have a chance to rewrite who I am and what I am here for. I have the liberty to love deeply, care positively and to make a difference in the lives of everybody I know. Since we never know when the angel of death will come to get us, we must live as though we only have today. No more wasting precious time in resentment, fear, self-pity and judgement. Instead I chose to live in gratitude, peace and harmony-these are my goals. I am here to let those I love know that I love them and to show up for what life brings, even if it is not quite what I ordered.

Perhaps I would add to my wall sign, start and end each day with a grateful heart.

Liah Howard is a Maui Psychic/Channel and radio show host and writer. She writes for three inspirational magazines. Liah teaches classes in Psychic Development both in person and online. She has a 20 class multi-media video series that teaches psychic development online. Visit Liah's website for free guided meditations, articles, radio shows, videos, and to schedule a Skype, phone or in-person session. http://www.liahhoward.com/

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The Importance of Gratitude

By Sam Obitz      

I don't know many people who would argue against the value of giving thanks, so on the surface it would appear that I am simply preaching to the choir here. It's easy to be thankful for all the blessings we have in our life like family, friends, health, food, shelter, etc. Expressing gratitude has also been linked to a plethora of benefits ranging from better mental and physical health, to improved relationships and productivity.

I recently entered gratitude into a search on Google and it returned 109,000,000 results, and I noticed a disturbing trend. Based on the top links that came back it appears that many people are using gratitude for selfish aims. Among the top links that came back on page one in my search were: "The 31 Benefits of Gratitude You Didn't Know About," "Can Gratitude Make Millennials More Successful?" and "7 Surprising Health Benefits of Gratitude."

In my experience, the only genuine practice of gratitude is when it is done to enrich others. In fact, in my regular practice of gratitude I specifically ask the recipient not to acknowledge it, but rather, if they feel compelled to respond, to send a similar message of gratitude to someone in their life OTHER THAN ME!

I believe that expressing gratitude for selfish reasons will eventually backfire in the same way I see general selfishness and greed eventually come back to bite people. It's not always easy to do, but in the long run, helping others will fill you up a lot faster than only looking out for yourself.

Our society has become obsessed with results, to its detriment, in my humble opinion. I have found that the need for results makes those very results much less likely to occur. That's why my focus is based primarily on process and purpose. Unfortunately, I do not have time to go into process and purpose (but will in a future blog post) as I want to tackle another issue with how people practice giving thanks.

The other problem I have with the way people express gratitude is that they often focus on the easy things. If you have read my blogs before, you have likely seen me utter the phrase: 'Life is 10% what happens and 90% how you react to it" (although I now believe it's more like 3% and 97%). I have personally found that once I learned to embrace the bad things that have happened to me, and to be grateful for them, it accelerated my growth exponentially.

As a child, I used to curse the fact that life was not fair and often felt sorry for myself. I think a big reason I felt this way was because my mother passed away two days before my fourth birthday. Regardless of the cause, all feeling sorry for myself did was make a bad situation even worse.

I eventually realized there was a positive side to losing my mom at a young age. It made me a more sensitive and empathetic person and those traits serve me to this day. I'm even grateful for all the people who bullied me or took advantage of me when I was down, for I would not have gained the valuable skills or knowledge I have, otherwise. These experiences forced me to learn how to problem solve at a young age and think on my feet. All of these traits and skills are vital to the work I do today.

In addition, I also suffered deep depression and anxiety after my mom passed away, but fighting those battles made me a better person. Though it took a lot longer than I would have liked, I like the person I am today.

Having said all of that, if I could choose, I would give up all of these benefits in a second to have my mother back for even a few days. But I can't choose, so I have finally learned to play the cards I have been dealt in a forward looking way.

It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking about what would have or could have been. In my case it would be if my mother had lived. But those fantasies are filled with inaccuracies as they envision an idealized version of the person I am now, and the reality is I may have ended up being a completely different person. Perhaps even an entitled spoiled momma's boy with very little compassion, for all I know.

If you want to accelerate your growth, learn to have gratitude for the things that you missed out on or that went wrong, as well as the things that went right, and when you choose to express it outwardly, do it to enrich others not to receive any benefits for yourself.

You can follow Sam on Twitter @SuperTaoInc

POSTED IN THE MIND SIDE BLOG

Sam Obitz is a leader in the use and development of mental skills that help you achieve peak performance. Visit The Mind Side Blog at http://supertao.com/category/the-mind-side-blog/

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10 Ways to Live More Fully

By Dr Kate Siner     

Stop trying to be perfect: You already are. Yes, each one of us is a work in progress, but that work is perfect in its state of evolution. When you are driven by perfection, you are unable to appreciate who you already are. Try instead to look at what is right about you.

Stop Trying to Impress Others: The people who want to be impressed (in the way I am talking about here) are not worth your time. The people who will judge you without knowing you or based on some criteria that are not even important to you are just not your people. The people who matter will think you are amazing. Pay more attention to them.

Stop Trying to Be Someone Else: If you are comparing yourself to someone who has different talents than you do or if you think that you should be doing things a different way than is natural for you, instead start to appreciate how you do things and what your talents are.

Find What You Love: When you let yourself be yourself, you will naturally be drawn to what you love. But, what you love also shows you something about who you are. If you don't know what you love, experiment. If you like it, try doing it again and see if it grows into something.

Give Yourself Permission to Do What You Love: Once you find the things you love, do them a lot. The more that you do what you love, the happier and the more satisfied you will be with your life. If you know what you love but you are not doing it, get the support you need to give yourself permission to be happy.

Don't Waste Time Doing Other Things: Why bother doing things that you do not enjoy? Yes, I understand life has some practicalities that need to be addressed, but once they have been attended to-are you still wasting time not doing what you love? If so, start a plan to cut out the things that are not in line with who you want to be or what you love, and then take action.

Slow Down: We can all get a bit ahead of ourselves. It is not about doing more or doing it faster, it is about really enjoying our life. We can't do that if we are moving so fast that we don't even know what is happening. Start by building some real breaks into your schedule.

Pay Attention to What Is Working (Most of the Time): Most of us would benefit from being a bit more positive. There is a place for looking at what is not working, but when we pay attention to what works, we often learn more about it and therefore can have more of it. We also feel better about what we are experiencing. If you see yourself getting negative, find one thing that is working.

Express Gratitude: Being grateful is one of the most effective ways to be happier. When in doubt, find something to appreciate. And don't forget to apply it to yourself!

Learn to Fully Receive: The emphasis on doing that most of us have been enculturated into leaves us less skilled when it comes to receiving. But how can we have a full and rich life if we can't receive it? The next time someone compliments you, take it in.

Ready for more wisdom? Keeping reading Dr. Kate's blog so that you can create the life you desire - and deserve.

Check it out here: http://katesiner.com/blog/

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